Sunday, May 11, 2008

Happy Mother's Day!

So today was my first Mother's Day. It's a day that's been bittersweet for me during the last five years, and it still is today, to an extent. On the one hand, I'm so very thrilled to finally be a mom, but on the other, I remember how painful it was all those years. It's hard to let go of the pain of infertility, and I think that's okay. It would be weird if it went away quickly and easily.

So when people wished me a Happy Mother's Day today, I smiled and thanked them, but I was reminded each and every time of what it took me to get here. It took five years, thousands of dollars, lots of physical and emotional pain, and then the whole trauma of the premature birth and NICU stay. None of this turned out like I expected it to. And yet, Carter is here, and he seems to be such a typical baby, despite everything.

He's getting so much more alert and interactive lately. He's smiling more ofter, and more spontaneously. He smiles when he first sees one of us, for example, which is really sweet. There's nothing like your baby being happy to see you! He's much more interested in his surroundings now, and won't always just sleep on my chest when we're out somewhere. He likes to be at adult level, seeing what we see and in the middle of what we're doing. He wants to sit on my lap facing out, so he can look around. He's slowly getting control of his head, and seems to be motivated by his desire to see what's going on around him. It seems like we're on the verge of a huge spurt in development, and it's really exciting!

Now for some pictures. Here is Carter dressed up for Mother's Day in an outfit that belonged to one of his cousins.

We went out to lunch and then came home and relaxed. Doug cooked dinner for me, and presented me with a card from Carter:

Isn't that sweet? Yes, I got teary... ;-)

We had professional photos taken a while back (in mid-March), and the portraits we chose finally came in. Some of them still need to be framed. They were were amazingly expensive, but I'm really happy we did it. This one will go in his room:

I love this trio too, but I'm not yet sure where I'll put it:

This one will go in our bedroom. I really like the way I'm smiling down at him.

And this is a group of four that I have a wall all picked out for. I'll either get them framed all together in one huge frame, or do four separate ones. I'm not sure yet.

This is a cute video of Carter and Doug. Doug will drip leftover milk into Carter's mouth, and he'll stick his tongue out to catch it. So cute!

Carter can hold and shake a rattle now, though he doesn't seem too happy about it.

In other news, we went to the retina specialist on Friday morning. He said the stage 2 ROP is still there in the left eye, and he wants to keep an eye on it. The right eye is fine. So we have to go back to the doctor next Friday morning again. I don't think he'll wind up having to get it treated, but it's definitely taking its time resolving.

That's it for now. :-)


Mattison Grace said...

Carter is so sweet. He is really moving around a lot. Matti was scared of a rattle at first. Carter has the extact rattle I first gave her to hold. How funny! She kept popping herself in the face with it and would cry. Now, she loves it.
Carter is just the cutest thing. His little outfits are adorable. As they grow, it is fun putting them in different little outfits everyday.
He seems to be really moving right along with his milestones. They come around quick and it seems like they do something different every day. It is all just simply amazing.
19 more days and I will get to see him again. I cannot wait.

Emily said...

Hey! Happy Mother's day to you! I LOVE your photos of carter. He's so stinkin' cute.

I'm doing the great diaper hunt and totally thought of Carter as soon as I saw this shirt...just wanted to pass it on to you!

Happy Monday!

rita said...

They don't really get into rattles until they're older and have better motor skills. I don't think Sam got into them until he was sitting up, better at grasping and then deliberately shaking things.

I was very cranky for Mother's Day this year. I blame it on toddlerhood! Also, I hate how commercialized it is. We never went in for that kind of thing in my family growing up. Mother's Day meant making a card for Mom by hand, or making presents. Store-bought stuff seemed so impersonal.